I was on a roll with blogging and then life made an unexpected turn. I want to be genuine with this post, to talk about how I’ve been feeling and what I’ve been doing while I’ve been away from here for the last couple weeks.
Over the last week and a half, I’ve been handed a lot of situations that make my mind go crazy. A lot of negativity, a lot of stress, coping with changes, making changes on my own, making decisions and ultimately moving forward and doing what’s best for me. That’s what we have to do to work things out, right? Make changes and move forward.
Well sometimes, my mind doesn’t exactly like moving forward. Sometimes my brain spirals and I re-think, overthink and constantly bombard my thoughts with everything from the past. Which then makes me upset about the situation even more and unable to truly deal with it. Plus ya know, I’m naturally an emotional person (so that’s great, lol…)
But for a while, I felt like I lost myself for a bit. I was (and still kind of am) feeling very overwhelmed and simply put… exhausted. And while I was feeling like this, I didn’t want to write. I had no energy or inspiration to write, plus I didn’t want my blog to have a post that I wasn’t 100% OK with. But sometimes, those days happen and they are real. So I thought to myself, why hide those parts of you to make yourself look positive all the time? That’s not real, but talking about why I’ve felt like this is.
So yes it’s absolutely OK to be overwhelmed, to feel things and to cry a lot. I actually encourage it. Everything that you are feeling is real and you shouldn’t feel like you have to hide it. And hiding the raw and not-so-happy moments is social media’s fault. We are convinced to only show our best lives and how happy we are, but sometimes we really aren’t feeling it. We’re human. Let yourself cry, let yourself be angry and let your frustrations out in a way that it will allow you to move on.
Lastly I want to talk about this photo above… I don’t like it. My boyfriend took it while we were on a walk with a group of friends, and that was taken maybe 5 minutes after I was done crying. When he showed it to me, I told him I didn’t like it because I don’t look happy. He then showed me his favourite photo set from GQ with Brad Pitt crying and asked, “does he look happy?” Well of course not, it’s tears (fake or not, I don’t know.) Then he said, “beauty is in the imperfections” and yes it sure is. So whether I like it or not, this is me… The exhausted, emotional, moments after crying, me. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
The Universe is giving us this sometimes overwhelming and crazy life, but most of all… wonderful. I’ll end this post with one of my favourite quotes from Melody Hanson, “Be human to the fullest.”
Embrace every moment, both good and bad.